Loner

"A lone wolf", "loner", "recluse." Society has spent a lot of time making up words and phrases to identify  people that would just prefer to be left alone.

I am one of these people. Don't get me wrong I love my friends, my co-workers, and most of all my family. But sometimes I need alone-time. That sometimes is a lot. If two or three days has gone by and in those two or three days, every activity I have engaged in has been populated by other people, I tend to get grouchy, a bit touchy.

I am very Aware of this. When I tell people that I just like being alone, I get a lot of weird looks. People either think I'm The Misery Chick, obsessed with being sad and loving propagating my own depression, or they think I have some low self esteem issue and am to afraid to be around other people. Neither of these is true. I'm not sad, lonely, or miserable. Being alone does not form or nurture any of these emotions in me. I am very Aware of my feelings toward my solitude mainly because my pretension for solitude was pointed out at a very young age, labeled "social avoidance" and brought up during parent-teacher conferences.  Luckily my parents are both loners too and knew nothing was wrong with me I just liked being alone.

See, they saw that being Alone doesn't mean being Lonely. Really, aside from having similar sounds and letters, these words don't have much in common.

There is a wonderful Spirita book, "Writer's Cramp" that has a few thoughts about solitude, about being a lone. I really took to it. Before I explain why, I'll share it with you:

Solitude

Solitude invents anguish

eclipsed by the 

ascension of awareness that

writing transcends

loneliness.

See, when I am alone I don't feel a lone. It gives me a chance to be with my creativity, my own awareness. If Creativity fuels Awareness, then I need my a lone time in order to keep going. 

When I am alone, I am most Aware. 

Where ever, however, when ever is  the best place or time for Awareness to be nurtured I have agreed to take it. 

I am not a loner, lonely or a lone. I simply need to be by myself. This might not be everyone's way but I think it is a good demonstrator of the uniqueness of each person's Awareness Hunt.

Until Next Time,

Jackie